How Young is Too Young

I was recently in  Portland —what an amazing book city.  There were tons of bookstores, Powell’s of course being the most famous, but it seemed like stores were everywhere and the booksellers smart and engaged.  One bookseller bought a book while I was telling her about it for her grandson who is on his way to college.  I inscribed it for her right there.  What a perfect time to read The Lost Diary.  So many of us learn about passion groping in the dark in our culture.  How much better to have the world of passion and pleasure opened up by a master who understands the holiness of pleasure.  Another bookseller who worked in Young Adult was interested and said you’d be amazed what teens are reading these days.  Honestly, I wrote the book for adults, but it is not so explicit that it is not appropriate for teens, who no doubt are being exposed to a far more debasing sexuality through the Internet.  Newsflash: I just received an e-mail from one reader who said that her 12 year old son read it from cover to cover in two days only begrudgingly stopping for school.  Now that is a real complement.  My son is twelve as well, and while that might be a little young for most kids, having written other books about sexuality and love, I am a firm believer that kids will only be drawn to what they are ready to know.  (Unless of course, it’s flashed into their memories on the TV screen or Internet.)   We ask our children what they want to know about sexuality, and they are very clear when they are not interested. 

I found a stash of hardcore pornography when I was young that was not particularly useful for my growing sexuality, but I had no other information and so my wild adolescent curiosity devoured what was available.  It is my hope in all my books to present models of passion and intimacy that are far wiser and healthier than what our culture—torn between titillation and shame—presents to us.  I was flattered when the mother of the twelve year old said, “I decided that if he was going to learn about sexuality from anyone, I wanted it to be you.”  That is an enormous confidence and I am honored.  I realize that this discussion might be usefully informed by some true confessions about writing “sex scenes,” which many writers say is the most difficult thing to write.  I will try to take that up shortly—it came up in an interview today—but let me fill in what’s happened on the tour first.